July 24, 1981 - February 10, 2023
The absolute flood of heartbreak, love, and support after Shae’s passing has been a true reflection of the impact she has had on everyone she ever knew. Hearing the stories of experiences with her proves that she was the most unique person any of us have encountered. Even if someone had just met her once, they felt an instant connection and had a funny story to share. As so many of you are aware, Shae put in an immense amount of effort into making sure that every single person she interacted with got her undivided attention. She felt so deeply. Reading your incredible accounts of life with Shae got me thinking . . . because I have heard similar wonderfully touching stories over and over. Nothing explains this tragedy. However, could it be that maybe the human body only has so much energy for giving love, care, attention and concern in a single lifetime, and Shae used hers all up in her short 41 years? Her mind, her heart may have been exhausted from taking in all of the pain in this world.
It has become so apparent that she was such a loyal person. She has a group of close friends from every stage of her life that are equally as close to her. Shae was the glue that held every group together throughout the course of her life. Because of that talent, I feel like I have gained about 200 sisters. Thank you for loving her, and for loving me because of her.
Sister Memories
Oh Shae, a.k.a. Sos (I was Sis), where do I begin with us? It's always been Jasmin and Shae/Shae and Jasmin. I remember playing "poor baby" where Mommy Sandra and I would pretend someone left you on our porch step in a basket when you were a young child, and we would take you in and love and care for you. You were so so cute and I recognized at a young age how magnetic you were. Like when you purposefully mispronounced "refriger-re-rator" and "rhino-soro-saurus" so that everyone would laugh at how precious you were, I knew what you were up to.:) Our adolescent and teen years were filled with wholesome neighborhood fun, sports, and summer nights in our backyard swimming and listening to KKRD on the radio. We became known for our silly "commercials" and music videos, and all our friends wanted to be a part of them. At KU, I remember crying to my sorority sisters when you decided to go Gamma Phi, but deep down I knew you belonged there. We were two different people, and that was ok. Your friends became my friends and my friends became your friends. Two of my favorite memories of us as adults was our road trip to Miami in our early 20s (yes, Miami!) and our spontaneous trip to Kauai, Hawaii after Daddy died. I am so blessed to have had those experiences and they will always be with me.
We have always been the blonde and the brunette sisters. Then came Harper (your God-daughter) and Lola, the blonde and brunette sisters part 2. Then came Simone (my God-daughter) and Sofia, the blonde and the brunette sisters part 3. The best thing that happened to me, Shae, was when you moved back to Wichita so that we could raise our babies together. It feels absolutely crushing to think of our future without you. However, I, along with the hundreds upon hundreds who love you, will together help raise your precious babies. They will never know a day without love and support. I promise you that.
I am so grateful that, as a photographer, I got the opportunity to photograph Shae and her family these past few years.
Shae, I love you and will miss the bombardment of your texts every day. Until we meet again...
SHAE'S OBITUARY
Shae's obituary was perfectly written by our most talented cousin, Allie Ammar, as was this much needed EULOGY that he read at her funeral. Shae would've wanted us to share in some laughter today.
And this slideshow is one thing I needed to accomplish to start my grieving process.
I hope this accurately represents the very best of Shae's life.
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This girl!
Spunk, curiosity, silliness, charm, compassion, and ALL the feelings are just a few ways to describe Lola. This year she has surprised me several times with how capable she is at certain things. My instinct when she asks to help me with something that is creatively challenging is to say "no, you're too young." But she persists until I give her a chance, and then she shocks me more often than not. She has become my little assistant, and I now trust her opinion when I question my own artistic work. She really isn't a baby anymore. (*cue the mom sobs)
Happy 10th birthday to our not-so-little Lola Jo! We love you!
Nothing makes me happier than seeing my babies loving each other! Lola looks up to her sister so much, and they truly have embraced having each other. Harper is such a wonderful model of confidence and determination for her baby sis, who has followed in her big sister's footsteps of becoming a dancer! And Harper continues to amaze us with her talents.
Harper, we love seeing you grow into a self-assured, kind, creative and unique young lady! We love that you draw strength from your family who supports you no matter what! We love you and and wish you the happiest 12th birthday!
Happy birthday LoJo!!
Our little lady is a 5'3" 6th grader who has matured leaps and bounds this year! We gave her a smart watch for her birthday which has allowed her more freedom. She earned a solo for her competition team this year! Her sixth grade class will be celebrating their sacrament of Confirmation this weekend. She's enjoying helping babysit her baby cousins who moved to Wichita this summer! There have been a lot changes since Harper has turned 11 and she has handled them all with grace and confidence. We love you Harps!
Focus on the positive. Be grateful. Never say you can't.
When Lola was faced with a challenge last week, my heart about exploded when I heard her say to herself,
"I think I can do it....no, I KNOW I can do it!"
Peace out 7! Bring on 8!
Happy birthday, LoJo! (Don't worry, you'll always be my baby!!)
]]>As women and girls, we too often find flaws in the way God made us. If you're short you wish to be tall; and the tall girls wish they were shorter. We want what we don't have. My little girl was blessed with a TON of hair, yet she wishes it were different. So I wanted to show her just how amazing all of those locks are with a "big hair don't care" birthday photoshoot. Let's celebrate our differences and what makes us unique!
Happy 10th birthday to my one-of-a-kind young lady! We love you more than words can say!
Mothers have it tough sometimes, am I right? We carry the emotional burdens of our children heavily on our hearts. When they hurt, our hurt is ten fold. And yet we are the ones who have been chosen in this life to have the gift of making it "all better" for our little ones. We are blessed beyond belief to take on this role, but we were never given instructions on how to do it. We must wear all 100 hats well, juggle 100 balls without dropping one, and do it all while raising our children to become strong, kind humans.
I have only known Becky for a couple of years, but from the first day I met her, it was apparent that she was one heck of a woman. When her baby Luna was almost two years old, she was diagnosed with retinoblastoma, an eye cancer, which led her to lose her left eye. She continues to fight for her baby's health still, while taking care of her family and being a working mother. Becky is strong. She is positive. She is loving. She is fierce. She is everything it takes in a mother to raise strong, kind humans.
Photoshoots like this are what I live for. I wanted to give this mama bear timeless portraits of her and her girls. I wanted to give big sis, the silent warrior and good sport, some much needed princess recognition! And I wanted to document little miss Luna (Becky's "Moon-child") and her sweetness, her beauty and her unphased spirit.
Mama Bear
Princess Giselle
And mommy's "Moon-Child", Luna
The glass is always half full in this family.
Facts about retinoblastoma:
▪︎Retinoblastoma is a cancer of the retina, a light-sensitive layer of tissue in the eye. It is the most common type of eye cancer in children. It accounts for about 2% of all childhood cancers. Still, it is rare overall. Only about 200 to 300 children are diagnosed with retinoblastoma each year in the United States.
•THE GLOW. This is the most common early sign of retinoblastoma. Normally when you shine a light in the eye, the pupil (the dark spot in the center of the eye) looks red because of the blood vessels in the back of the eye. In an eye with retinoblastoma, the pupil often appears white or pink instead, which is known as a white pupillary reflex (or leukocoria). A parent might notice this white glare after a flash photograph is taken, especially if the pupils are different colors. It also might be noted by the child’s doctor during a routine eye exam. Other symptoms, lazy eye, eye pain, vision problems, redness in the eye, a pupil that doesn't get smaller when exposed to bright light.
•About 3 out of 4 children with retinoblastoma have a tumor in only one eye (known as unilateral retinoblastoma). In about 1 case in 4, both eyes are affected (known as bilateral retinoblastoma).
▪︎25% to 40% of retinoblastoma cases are hereditary. In these cases, the patient has a mutation in a tumor suppressor gene known as RB1. This mutation is found in the DNA in every cell of the patient’s body. It is usually inherited from a parent, but it also can be a new mutation that starts with the patient. In both cases, this form of the disease can be passed down to the next generation. This type of retinoblastoma usually develops before age one.
▪︎Retinoblastoma occurs about equally in boys and girls and in different races and ethnicities. It also occurs equally in the right or left eye. Overall, more than 9 out of 10 children in the United States with retinoblastoma are cured, but the prognosis is less promising if the cancer has spread outside of the eye.
#retinoblastomaawareness
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She loves everything. She wants to try everything.
So for this year's birthday blog, I'm documenting what Lola loves best –– at least at this point in her life.
This year she has been introduced to basketball. Although she dances (and, out of convenience, I would've loved for her to only dance just like her sister), I shouldn't be surprised that she wants to pick up the one sport that made both of her parents absolute legends.
SO KIDDING!!!! We were average.
Little Miss Lola, on the other hand, could be pretty dang good with that spunky spirit!
We just need to get her to stop doing hip-hop moves down the court after scoring a basket. ;)
The next of Lola's favorite things is her sister. Although she would never admit it, she looks up to her big sis in the most precious way. Nothing is better then watching them crack each other up, have dance parties around the house, and engage in imaginative play for hours.
I adore this photo of the girls side by side. Sometimes I can't tell them apart when I glance at a photo of one of them. However, I see so many differences here...just like their personalities.
Speaking of her sister, Lola LOVES to make Harper laugh. Like belly-laugh laugh. Lola is so goofy. She's an entertainer, and this didn't just recently start. When she was a baby, we would say she was like a tiny royal jester. And so it continues.
I see the performer in Lola. She doesn't take herself too seriously. She ALWAYS dances "like no one is watching."
I wish I could be more like Lola in that respect.
One last thing: our girl loves to read. This is a pleasant surprise to me because I've never been a big reader. Also, thanks to a major parent-fail on our part, we sort of "forgot" to work with Lola (our second child) on letters at a young age. So at her first pre-k parent/teacher conference at age 4, we were told she only knew the letters L, O, A, and X, and it hit us that we should've been working with her all along like we had done for our firstborn! Once we put in an effort on our end, we realized how dang smart this kid is.
She caught up quickly and then some. And now she asks for chapter books as gifts!
Happy 7th birthday, you dancing, goofy, sporty, smarty-pants girl! We love you more than words can say!!!
]]>She has grown into a true leader. I am so inspired by her passion for the art of dance. Although I feel it may be speeding up time being so involved, it has created a happiness in our lives that can't be replaced. I will take all the busy days any day if it means our girl will grow up learning responsibility, teamwork and how to grind. I just need to be mindful of all of the little in-between moments every day of this last single-digit year and every whirlwind year thereafter. Happy birthday, big girl! We love you to the stars and back!
Happy 6th birthday you sweet and happy thing!
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Happy 1st birthday Collins! You're so beautiful and your amazing baby *chub* has brought joy to so many!!
When our second daughter was born a few years later, we knew we were in store for a life of Barbie dolls and hair bows, with maybe some dress up and makeup along the way. We pictured them growing tall like their parents and playing volleyball or basketball.
One of my very talented cousins had been in dance for much of her childhood and she begged me to make dancers out of our little girls someday. I hate to admit this now, but I pretty much laughed in her face. There was no way, in my mind, that our girls would dance. If they turn out anything like their mom and dad, they'll be sporty and graceless! Nonetheless, we did put our toddlers into the cute "baby ballerina" classes for our own entertainment. During the first recital, although it was adorable, I felt very out of my element. How could I ever fit in with the dance moms?
Then when Harper was 6 she was in a ballet number that blew my mind. It wasn't exceptionally difficult or anything. What impressed me the most was that she was front and center and smiling with confidence. Now let me say that all we'd ever known of this child was that she was an introvert. She cried at every birthday party to date when people sang "Happy Birthday" to her! However, to see her fearless, self-assured and actually GRACEFUL made me rethink this whole dance thing!
At 8 years into her young life, she's found the one thing she wants to do, and LOVES to do. I wish I had LOVED anything as a child the way she loves to dance. She comes home from 4 hours of dance class and dances with her sister until bedtime! There are not a lot of things I've experienced as a mother that give me as much joy as watching my girls dance. I'm officially a dance mom and couldn't be more proud! I cannot wait for our family to continue on this new, beautiful path.
Happy 8th birthday to my first baby. Keep following your heart my love!
When she was born, the nurses called her "Barracuda Baby" because she ate constantly.
That hasn't really changed!
We heard that a shop called LOLA Boutique was named so because it stood for:
"Laugh Often Love Always".
This set the stage for the happiness that this child not only exudes but creates!
Her cheeks have been one of the highlights of my life! And now she is obsessed with other baby's cheeks!
She asks, "Mom, can I chunk his cheeks?"
(What have I created!?)
Teething brought a brutal two years!
My sister (her dark haired twin), talked me into cutting some blunt bangs when she was one. And it more than worked!
She is loving and affectionate.
She is passionate and thoughtful!
She is a very unique character!
She is the kid that when you come home from work or pick her up from school, she runs to you smiling and leaps into your arms!
And she definitely brings some drama to many situations! (Lord help me!)
Today my baby is 5.
As my baby, I want to hold her forever, squeeze her with all my might, and protect her.
But all she wants to do is fly!
Happy birthday to my happiest baby angel!!
]]>Eighteen Summers: It's All We Get
The Only Thing I Didn't Give My Kids Is the One Thing They Needed the Most
The three articles listed above are some of the most memorable lessons I have learned so far as a mother. They hit home.
I wish I had read the last two sooner.
I am your typical "stressed out", "stretch yourself too thin", "when am I ever going to get a break" mom.
The last night of first grade when putting my almost-7-year-old to bed, she asked if I was going to continue working this summer. The answer was yes. Her response was "yessssssss". Shocked, I asked why. She said because you're bossy and mean.
As if that weren't enough, I then went to lay in bed, defeated, the victim attitude, and read a mom blog called "The Only Thing I Didn't Give my Kids Is the One Thing They Needed Most". I bawled to my husband that night. Sad that my oldest daughter is to the point where she doesn't like hanging out with me. Sad that my 4-year-old baby won't let me kiss her chubby cheeks anymore.
What was the world coming to??? I thought I was having a midlife crisis.
I vowed that night that I would try my best to be patient and sweet in my communications with my children, and enjoy every moment of motherhood, even in my times of utmost frustration.
That was a tall order and I've caught myself a few times going back to my old ways. But the point is that I see the difference in myself and I am able to control it better now.
And the difference in my oldest child is undeniable. You could see the happiness in her face when we were around each other come back immediately. Her mood completely reflected my own, which I've always known but never truly realized the impact.
She, my unaffectionate one, was affectionate.
One week into her 7th summer and we are feeling fulfilled.
My big girl Harper is turning 7 this summer. I remember being at an age when 7 seemed so old and cool.
She has all of a sudden reached an age when the influences of her peers is seeping into our doors. Therefore it is refreshing to still see her own sweet, funny, inquisitive personality emerge through it all.
The lessons we repeat over and over to her is that beauty is on the inside, never give up and be kind.
We also teach her to be thankful by doing "gratitudes" daily as a family.
My tiny little Lola Jo is 4, although 2 is stuck in my head for some reason.
It is so fun seeing her grow into her own person: the entertainer, the lover, the unbridled spirit.
She copies her sister's every move, she still adores her mommy and daddy, and she eats 24/7.
Her little lisp is irresistible to me, as are her chubby cheeks.
Thank you God for these two little lights.
On this first joyful weekend of what feels like summer, I just wrapped up another inspiring session of now 1-yr-old Summer Aaron.
Her warm smile, big blue eyes and of course a world of fun!
Enjoy and happy Memorial Day and SUMMER!!!
I have the prettiest little cousins and loved photographing them throughout their childhoods. One day I took a cheap old camera and took some black and white shots of my baby cousin, Maddie at age 3.
I remember being so amazed at her beauty! Those eyes!!
So I must admit that I got pretty excited planning for her senior photoshoot which we decided to do at the prettiest place around, the Bartlett Arboretum in Belle Plaine, KS.
The Arb, but mostly Maddie, did not disappoint. Such a true beauty she is!
And then as we were driving home, we spotted an abandoned dirt road with the most perfect light imaginable! We whipped the car around in a spontaneous moment and parked.
For those who know Maddie, they are well aware of how talented she is as a dancer. Since childhood, her life has always been dance, dance, dance. Therefore this next shot means everything to me...to capture her doing what she's always loved in such a beautiful setting. Perfection.
Congratulations baby cousin ... The future is looking pretty bright for you!
This summer was our busiest yet and I wanted to spend as much time with my own babies as possible.
It felt like it had been forever since I photographed a newborn, when in fact it was just a month ago! When a break like this happens, it is easy to forget why I adore photographing newborns. This Wednesday afternoon I had a great reminder of that. Of course, it helps when I am given a "perfect 10" for a model. Baby Collins came to me at about 9 days old. I couldn't get over how gorgeous she was. I laid her down to pose her in a position with which I typically start. For the first time ever, I had a newborn pose her own face on her perfectly laid hand. At that moment, I knew we were going to have a "perfect" session and we most certainly did!
When baby Summer was 5 months in utero, her dad, Aaron, put his hand on her mom's tummy and Summer gave him a little nudge. He felt her for the first time. The next day, for a reason only God knows, Aaron lost his life in an unforeseen accident.
Then began his safekeeping, guidance and love from afar.
This little girl is an especially blessed one. She's got a warrior of a mom, an army of love and support from friends and family, and most importantly a guardian that is second to none.
Summer came to see me when she was just 6 days new.
I had the honor of incorporating sentimental objects into her first photo shoot.
Here she is lying in her great-grandfather's crate imprinted with a bow hunter, a sport that her dad enjoyed.
Summer clung tightly to a necklace of her daddy's fingerprint, which her mom wears around her neck.
One of the more touching moments for me was seeing Summer snuggled in with her dad's shirts. The one encircling her was one of Aaron's favorites. During our session, there was a moment when she started to fuss until I laid her here. She settled right in perfectly, as if he was wrapping his arms around her.
Summer's dad was a hunter and he died doing what he loved. This was a very meaningful image of his first deer and his baby girl.
I know that Summer will bless this family in unimaginable ways.
"A new baby is like the beginning of all things - wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." - Eda J. Le Shan
She is the rainbow after the storm.
Blessings to Amber, Summer and their families...
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She came back to me 6 months later with baby rolls upon baby rolls of pure joy.
I just recently got to see this sweet baby again for Quinn’s 1-year milestone session.
I am reminded each time what a true pleasure it is to spend time with Megan and Quinn. To see someone who had the unfathomable happen to them come away with an appreciation for life and a contagious smile on her face is extraordinary. I have learned a lot from Megan, a true inspiration. The whole "live each moment" thing never quite meant so much.
Stop dwelling on the bad. Life is too short. Focus on and appreciate all the good instead. It is all around us.
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We've gone from this ten years ago.....
to this two months ago...
....and these....
It's always been Courtnee and Blake, party of two.
So to see them becoming a party of three and mesmerized by this new little man in their lives is so special to witness.
Greyson Robert was born on January 31, 2016 weighing in at 9.1 pounds and 22 inches.
I love him to pieces already and cannot wait to capture many more precious moments in his life.
He is dapper like his daddy!
He's so squishy and cuddly!
And he might be a Texan at heart!!
Greyson, with the parents that you have, you are destined for greatness and love beyond words.
Lola Jo was born three years ago. We thought her laid-back baby personality would translate to toddlerhood. However, when you have a rule-following, type-A older sis to compete with....you gotta push that personality through somehow!
In those three years, she's earned the titles "Bruiser", "Royal Jester" (by her sister) and most frequently "Stinker!" She challenges us everyday but makes us laugh one hundred times a day. Her spirit shines wherever she goes and with whomever she meets.
Happy birthday, Lo, you funny girl. We love you.
I should've known that that behavior was going to be short lived. The rest of the time was pure chaos. Chasing Lola wore me out. My bribes no longer worked to get them to sit still! I was frustrated.
However, because of that evening, I've learned my lesson to let go of expecting perfect poses, because capturing the fun of childhood is just as beautiful, if not more so.
And in fact, the results were just perfect!
Just 4 weeks ago, my sister, Shae, who lives in Denver called me to say she had to go to Kauai for a work trip and asked if I wanted to join her. Neither of us had been to Hawaii and it seemed tempting but of course my initial reaction was, "never gonna happen." I then called my dear friend Jes, who grew up on Oahu and asked two things: #1 "is this unrealistic to even consider," and #2 "do you want to go?"
Thanks to our wonderful husbands, Shae's boss, and some amazing people from work, we booked our trip.
As the vacation drew near, I dreaded the flight and the 5 hour time change. I wasn't sure if it would be worth it, but I was excited nonetheless to be able to experience this with my sister and to do it all with a once-local to show us the ropes. It was the most spontaneous thing we had ever done.
The trip there surprisingly wasn't that bad at all.
Around noon on Tuesday, we checked into the Kauai Marriott in Lihue, which was a gorgeous resort. We hung out relaxing there that first day.
Then on Wednesday, the whirlwind of non-stop adventures began. Everyone told us, "why even bother to go for just 4 1/2 days", but in that amount of time we were able to travel around the entire island either by car or boat. We were quite impressed with ourselves. That first full day there, Jes and I went site seeing while Shae worked. Our first stop was Wailua Falls.
To grasp the enormity of this waterfall, in this second picture, try to spot the little white bird in the center of the photo. That was a large seagull next to the heaviest cascade of water I have ever seen. Kauai has the rainiest spot on earth, which would explain the constantly immense amount of water flowing down multiple mountainsides.
We then drove on to see the Keahua Arboretum.
We happened to stumble upon this little lush haven....Kamokila Hawaiian Village.
I decided to try my hand at paddle boarding. It may have only been for a couple of minutes around the dock, but at least I can say I've done it!
We opted NOT to stay and kayak there and instead signed up to go on Saturday when Shae isn't working on a self-guided kayak tour up the river, then hike to the Secret Falls.
That night, we drove to Poipu to eat dinner at the Beach House. We stopped to see the infamous blow hole, Spouting Horn, on the South shore.
Before dinner we had to have a "Shave Ice", a favorite in the islands.
And then at dinner, this was our view. Not bad.
Did I mention that just the driving around the island made the trip worthwhile. I had never seen trees as tall as Kauai's. They just towered like walls to Heaven on both sides of the road. Unfortunately, the pictures do not do it justice, but we tried our best to capture the beauty.
Shae had gone on a helicopter tour before we arrived on Tuesday, and she heard that Kauai is 97% uninhabited land. Here are a couple from her cell phone that she got when flying over the Napali Coast.
So if you're not looking at the gorgeous blue ocean, you are looking at the steepest mountains, or the greenest valleys, or the tallest trees. In fact, Kauai has more beaches, rivers, streams, and waterfalls than any of the other Hawaiian islands. There is so much beauty here.
Thursday night we headed north for dinner but first stopped to see the Kilauea Lighthouse. Walking up to it you say "wow" about ten times, louder each time, the closer you get to the lookout point.
This is what the drive away from the lighthouse looked like.
We had to eat at the St. Regis Hotel because everyone said it was a site to see. Here was our view at dinner on the terrace.
Sunset dinner view...again I said over and over "this is the prettiest thing I've ever seen."
(These were all taken with my cell phone as I had forgotten my good camera.)
Friday morning, Jes and I ventured onto a 6-man speedboat tour for 5 hours up the Napali Coast. The company we used was the Na Pali Experience and we highly recommend them! The entire way up the coast, there was a rainbow to our backs.
It took about an hour to get around the military base. But when we did, this was our first view at sunrise.
And then this...
Majestic and mystical all at the same time. I then started to understand the Hawaiian belief in the spirits and gods. This place was other-worldly.
And then as if the view weren't enough, we were joined by hundreds of frolicking dolphins.
Then came the caves.
Had we opted to take a calmer ride in a larger catamaran boat, we would not have been able to actually go into the caves.
In fact, the waves were so large by the caves that the first speedboat only got to the entrance and then came back out. Our amazing captain maneuvered backwards all the way into this amazing place.
On the way back up the coast we stopped to swim a couple of times in the turquoise water.
(These are the fish who joined us as we swam.)
(Below is a picture taken with my cell phone without any editing. That is how blue the water was.)
After the tour, we decided to head up to Waimea Canyon. Upon arrival, we had to check out this local produce stand.
At the lookout of the canyon, there was an eerie silence as all of the tourists just stood and watched. We stood higher than the clouds as they slowly blew across the canyon making the only sound up there that of a humming breeze.
The drive down from the canyon was just as jaw-dropping.
That night, we went to a luau. It was the Smith Family's Garden Luau which has been around for 50 years.
We just couldn't believe this tree was real!
(By the way roosters were EVERYWHERE on this island.)
Saturday morning we woke up excited to do our kayaking tour. Unfortunately, the rain from the night before caused flooding in the river and it was cancelled. Instead, we rented some snorkel gear and headed back up the coast towards Hanalei Bay. We stopped a couple of times for some more photos of the scenery.
We passed Hanalei and got to the snorkel spot called Tunnel Beach. But first we had to go inside this dry cave, called Manihiholo. Be sure to notice the lady walking in so you can understand the proportion here.
After the cave, we snorkeled. Here is Tunnel Beach (taken with an underwater camera).
And here are some of the best shots we got with the $15 underwater camera.
It was a great way to end the trip!
Going to Kauai, I thought to myself, we need to fit everything in since I may never come back. On the last day, I wasn't worried about missing the kayak tour since I am hopeful we will return again and again. Truly, it was a little Heaven on Earth.
]]>We just got back from our second annual trip to this wonderful town.
It is perfect for kids of all ages, and there are things to do everywhere you turn. Here's what was on our agenda this year:
1. Picnic at the lower streams of Helen Hunt Falls
Water was COLD but we didn't mind!
I had fun capturing Harper as she "frolicked" in the stream.....
....and Lola while she ate! LOL! (The child never stops eating!)
2. Walking through Garden of the Gods National Park
As you enter you see the noted "Kissing camels" atop the red rocks.
One of my favorite pictures . . . Lola looks like a turtle peeking out of her shell!
3. The North Pole in Manitou Springs
4. Probably my favorite place on earth . . . the Broadmoor
Ended with a little paddle-boating with Harper and one of her favorite cousins!
Heaven
We're ready to go back!
I wanted to include here my favorite photos from each of Harper's milestones: birth through age five.
Out of all of the pictures I snapped of Harper as a newborn, I remember thinking that this one on the left looked the most "professional". After her, I began my quest to learn and learn and learn about newborn photography.
Harper's was my very first cake smashing session at age 1 above on the right. I learned then and there that grass and frosting do NOT go well together!
At her 2 year session, I clearly thought that more was better! It is definitely fun to set up these stylized shoots, but when you have a 2 year old that doesn't look at you or do anything that was in your plans, it can be a bit challenging!
Nonetheless, she did look adorable at her very first fancy tea party!
At 3, Harper helped me capture one of my favorite photos of my career. This was my dad's favorite shot as well! You can't plan for these moments to happen (especially with a 3 year old), but when the light, hair, expression and camera "click" all at the same time, it is most definitely magic.
By 4, she knew all about posing for mom.
Then age 5 came around and, boy, has it been hard for her parents to keep up with her imagination. I know we are not the only family that experiences 10-15 outfit changes a day, right? Clothes and costumes are what rule the world of this 5 year old.
Here are some of the outfits that Harper acquired during her fifth year paired with a little magic from Photoshop! This awesome age is filled with everything that is whimsical, and therefore I wanted to showcase that fantasy in images that exceed her vivid expectations!
What girl doesn't want to believe she is Elsa!
Well we had to have BOTH Elsa costumes.
Here is "Coronation Elsa" in full character.
I can't stress enough how much this girl loves anything RAINBOW! Therefore, I give you ... Rainbow Fairy Harper.
Thanks to Grandma, this adorable number has entered the rotation in the last couple of weeks.
My little blonde Poccahontas.
And lastly, her newest obsession is that of a woodland fairy.
Inspired by a photo by the most talented LJ Holloway Photography, this is EXACTLY what I had envisioned!
She keeps me young.
Happy 5th birthday my beautiful baby Harper!
]]>How we have been waiting for your sweet arrival! You are just too precious for words and the love all around you is overflowing.
My little girls are just obsessed with their new little cousin.
And when I say they are obsessed . . . their biggest argument to date (at ages 2 and almost 5)
is who gets to hold baby Susannah.
Susannah Lynn arrived 11 days prior to her first photoshoot. Such a little beauty. I could eat her up and miss her so much already!
The pure sweetness of a newborn baby...
A portrait of love, joy, and many blessings.
Dreaming of angels.
Mommy and her precious princess...
Daddy and his world.
Life is beautiful.
XOXOXOX
]]>October 11, 1950 - May 22, 2015
Our Journey
My dad passed away Friday May 22, 2015 after a long battle with cancer. Exactly one year prior, he had to have his bladder removed due to an aggressive tumor. Luckily, they were able to reconstruct a new bladder. Then in October 2014, the cancer came back. My dad began his fight with stage IV cancer at that moment. After his first 4 treatments with chemo and a VERY strict diet and lifestyle change (led by yours truly), the tumors were almost gone! (Two of the most helpful books were "A Definitive Guide to Cancer" and "How to Prevent and Treat Cancer with Natural Medicine.") When we heard that news, it truly was the happiest, most victorious day of my life. We all cried tears of joy at the office the moment we heard. My dad told me I saved his life ...... as we cried together for the first time ever. I will never forget that moment.
So of course, we continued the same chemo regimen. As is common with traditional cancer therapies, he started losing weight because he lost his appetite as a side effect of his treatment. Therefore we started letting him eat just whatever sounded good to him. After all, everything was working so we had a little wiggle room, right?
About two weeks later, his back started hurting. We were told that it was probably arthritis or the fact that he had lost some muscle mass. After the next 4 chemo treatments, the back pain got so bad that we did another scan. {Enter one of the worst days of my life.} The tumor had done a complete reversal and was bigger now then it was when we began. Feeling completely defeated, we rushed to MD Anderson.
Unfortunately, after just one treatment with the strongest chemo regimen that MD Anderson had to offer, they could tell by his blood work that it was not working. We knew at this point that there was no cure and he had months left. We decided to do radiation to help with the back pain and bleeding that the tumor was causing. Although this was not a cure, we hoped it could buy us a few more months if successful. The radiation absolutely did its job by shrinking the main tumor, however, he ended up with a colon infection that took him down for weeks making him weaker than ever. At this point around the end of March 2015, we heard for the first time that the cancer had spread to his liver and he had less then a month left.
The End
The months of April and May have been the most invaluable blessings to our family. Yes we had many irritating moments with each other, as my mom, sister and I were gripping to anything we could reach, and my dad was most certainly not the easiest of patients. Getting him to eat was absolutely the biggest challenge we encountered throughout the process, and his siblings and girls at the office can account for that too! It's hard to know what a person dying of cancer is going through, but no one was giving up just yet. And in fact, 2-4 weeks turned into 8 weeks. We did everything in our own power, which unfortunately was trumped by the power of the cancer. With cancer, you get to say and do everything you need, leaving that "no regret" feeling that is often not an option when it comes to death. In that, cancer has an odd way of blessing families.
The Person, Joe
I joined my dad as a dentist at Riverside Dental back in 2007 and was able to learn his way of practicing dentistry. In fact, he had the pleasure of teaching "his way" to thousands and thousands of dentists around the country for 30+ years. As his obituary explains, he was a nationally recognized lecturer and consultant through his dental company KISCO, whose goal was to make others in the profession more efficient and successful. He believed that one could be a successful dentist while doing "bread and butter" dentistry as he called it. He was known as a leader of the "silent majority." He taught that if you treat your patients like family, as if every one of them were truly important, then you will be successful. His favorite book, by which he lived his life, is Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People". A hard copy remains with him today in his resting place.
The outpouring of stories about my dad from other dentists and how he personally helped their careers, has been wonderfully overwhelming. Click here to read just a few of the many comments that have come my way about my incredible dad. Check out this video from a lecture room full of his dental "fans" in Destin, FL this year (the first one he wasn't able to attend in years).
I always knew that people loved him and appreciated what a funny and kind guy he was. But it wasn't until he passed that I realized the immense effect he had on so many people's lives. His staff at the office adored him and many had been with him for 15, 20, 25, or 30 years! He believed that his own success was because of his wonderful staff of loyal women throughout the years. Going through this process has solidified the relationships I have with these women, as I see the loyalty and love they have had for their boss and friend, which is often rare. I now have some pretty big shoes to fill. And they WILL be filled in honor of my great father.
What I Learned
Pick the right doctor. I have so much more respect for our oncologist because he was open to our ideas along the way. He never acted as if his word was gold, even though my dad thought it was. He was as caring as anyone can be. We were not just a statistic to him.
Having said that, in the busy world of hospitals/doctors/nurses, no one will look after you like YOU. It is our own responsibility to take care of ourselves. If something doesn't seem right, it probably isn't.
At the start of our journey, I began learning from the brilliant Dr. Bernie Siegel about all the different aspects that go into treating illness. One of the most inspiring books I have ever read is his "Love, Medicine and Miracles." What I learned from him that I can pass on is that the motivation of the patient to be proactive is crucial for survival of stage IV cancer. You canNOT wait for someone else to heal you. It starts within. And I believe it is possible. Bernie Siegel gave me that gift. The glass is still half full here.
My Healing
The one thing I wish I had done was to really photograph him at the end, especially with my girls. However, for whatever reason, the timing wasn't right and it didn't happen. Perhaps this is why I chose to make a blog about him. I will always be able to add to it and come to it when I feel the need. There were some beautiful, heartfelt speeches and eulogies written and read at my dad's services. Here are the ones from his rosary service, by his sister Rene Brand and by his best friend Dr. Mark Troilo, who will continue lecturing on his own through KISCO. My husband, John Rupp, gave a very touching speech at his funeral that had the whole place in tears. Here is his. At the meal after his services, this letter was read, which was written by an old friend of his Brad LaFever that touches on every wonderful aspect about my dad. As one of my favorite cards reads, "There are some who bring a light so great to the world that even after they have gone, the light remains." I am so proud to call him my dad, boss, and mentor. Here is the video I made to honor his great life, played to some of his favorite songs. My precious Daddy....
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Jessie has been the perfect role model for our girls ... an enthusiastic, charming, independent and poised young woman.
We just attended her high school graduation party and got to meet and spend more time with her wonderfully cool family. We will truly miss our amazing Jessie but wish her all the best in the world! She will go far.
Just as beautiful on the inside....
Harper and Lola are hooked!
XOXOXO
]]>The differences in each of these girls is clear when you meet them. However, there are a few awesome qualities that most 4-year-old girls have in common: silliness, silliness and more silliness. The laughter, lightheartedness, and fascination they have for each other was very fun to watch. Makes me want to be four again!
4 and Fabulous! 4 and Free Spirited! 4 and Flawless! 4 and Fierce!
These cute tank tops are from Piper Collins Designs.
The silliness...
And cuteness.
And my second vision was this.
I was so inspired by the beauty in each of these 4-year-olds.
Flower halos made by Feather River Boutique.
The laughter.
Fascination for one another.
Berkley.
Lily.
Alana (whose parents are photographers...no pressure!)
And my own baby Harper.
It was a fun night with four, fabulous 4-year-olds!
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